Yes, I am 25 years old and a fairy tale whore.
But honestly, I don't think I'm much different than any other girl. These stories seemed to be pumped into our veins like heroin since infancy. All little girls dressed as princesses on Halloween (and on just about any other day if we had the option), dreamed they were adopted at birth and our royal parents were out there somewhere. Sometimes, after a particular horrific fight, they convinced themselves that their mother was really an evil queen bent on their destruction. My mother certainly had a eerie resemblance to Malificient from Sleeping Beauty at particular times of the month.
But as I've gotten older and my obsession has matured, I've realized two things about most of these time-honored tales.
1. Those princesses were pussys
2. They gave in way too quickly
Let me explain.
In almost every fairy tale that involves a prince of some sort, our leading lady is a pretty, strong-willed and self-assured woman of her time. She knows her values, she works hard, takes care of herself and those around her, and fights for her freedom. Really modern-day feminists would probably see their roots in some of these characters (except for the whole "damsel in distress" crap, they are pretty solid women).
But then those damn, dumb-ass princes swoop in and their brains go to mush. The "princesses" forget who they are and what they had been fighting for--freedom and the right to answer to no one but themselves. They abandon everything they've built for a man who really just shoots a toothy-grin their way. The princes are dopes--they are never depicted with personalities, quirks or any individual characteristics that make them stand out. They all simply fill the role of "hero", with their perquisite love of danger and unnatural preoccupation with sword play. The princesses becomes wives without a second thought. And then they basically fall off the earth and no more stories are written about them.
Being a woman of the real world and of modern times, it's pretty obvious that I think these woman gave in too quickly. Like I said, they are pussys. Their lives were hard, no doubt, but the character of a person is made up of what a person does when these hard situations hit (little philosophical :) ). And what did these women do? They took the first opportunity that came their way at a comfy life. They made the easy decision--took the road most traveled by if you will. And honestly, those princes may have been "charming" to most, but for all they knew they could have been homicidal maniacs or got off on rescuing helpless females. And I guarantee they'd be heading for the door the second one of their children was sick or it became too much to handle.
Like what if there was another option for these "damsels"? Even another man for gods sake! What if they had just waited, say one more day, instead of jumping into the arms of a perfect stranger?
Let me paint a picture with a few examples.
Cinderalla
Awful life of neglect and servitude under the hands of her evil stepmother. Forced into basic slavery, due to the love and remembrance of her father and because she happened to be prettier than her counterparts. But, pretty handy with a broom and rodents. It's not an easy task to clean and run a manor all by yourself! Who's to say if she hadn't fallen head-over-heels for a man she knew maybe for an hour, that she couldn't have become a blooming entrepreneur. "Cindy's Cleaning Service," could have put her on the map for a reason other than having abnormally small feet and fitting into a glass slipper. Sure, her life would be more cozy and carefree as a queen, but wouldn't you have rather made it on your own and be financially independent?
Snow White
Again, a very charming and beautiful woman with a seriously sinister step-mother bent on her death. Pretty stupidly, she was blinded by her own compassion and didn't see the evil that lurked in her own castle. Until it hired someone to cut her heart out. She fled, moved in with a couple of tiny men, kept house for them until her past caught up with her. Then she ended up "dead" in a glass coffin. Frozen for all eternity. But she was even worse off than Cindy. Her prince just kissed her and she was expected to marry--no introduction or words, just BAM! You're in love! Sounds like mail-order brides in reverse to me. But what if, upon inspection of her new love she said "Ah...No thanks," picked herself up out of that coffin and started a life on her own. She was the "Fairest of them All," so I would like to think many would want to know her secrets and how she always had such a sunny disposition even in hard times. She could have left the forest and became a life coach--teaching all to be "The Beauty Inside." She could have inspired many to go on and live their lives, even if death threatens you at every turn.
But no. They both took the pussy way out and just gave up in to men.
To tell you the truth I can only think of one fairy tale woman character who had true balls.
Wendy
Sure, she's not a princess but an awful situation pushed her into Neverland and the arms of Peter Pan--being forced to grow up before she was ready. He promised her everything--adventure, no responsibilites, love and never having to be anything but a child. For awhile, this was what she wanted and she played into Peter's world. But she smartly saw beyond the fairy tale and realized the dream wasn't enough. That and Peter would be a perpetual man-child in more ways than one and he would never be anything but a stubborn ass until he ceased to exist (sounds like A LOT of my ex-boyfriends). She refused to stay in Neverland and went back to the real world to grow up. And it worked out for her. Peter still came and saw her, but she lives the life she chose.
Takes a lot to say no to the dream and decide on your own what your future could become.
As little girls, I think it's a bit damaging to not have more role models like Wendy to look to. No wonder so many 20-something year old's flock to assholes and lack luster relationships and stay in them for the comfort of being able to say "I'm not single." We've learned from the age of two that this is what society expects of us--to have horrible, awful lives until we meet our prince. Those 20 something year olds still expect him to come riding up on a white horse and for him to save her. When it doesn't happen like that and the pressure kicks in "to get married before I'm shriveled up and old," most trick themselves into believing the guy they happen to be with is their fairy tale. But in reality, he's just another asshole who has a different type of preoccupation with sword play.
Preoccupation with sword play, indeed.
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