Facebook and the Art of Passive Aggression

Everything we do these days revolves around the Internet. We read our newspapers, check the weather, get the latest sport stats, find recipes, shop, even dating has been taken over by the age of computers. Kids these days know more about the Kindle, and less about going to the actual library to check out books--do they even know there's a place you can borrow physical books for free to begin with? It's so engrossed in our culture that I highly doubt any of us could survive a day without it--and I count myself in that group because I've only had my smartphone for a year and I don't know how I survived without it!

It's been a gradual process, but over the last decade the world has taken "being connected" to a whole other level. And a lot of this has to do with Facebook. Everyone and their mother--literally, my mom is now on Facebook but has no clue how to use it--has an account. And it seems like everyday a new little gadget from the mind of Mark Zuckerberg is implemented and we are forced to comply or move on! (Not kidding. Remember when they first introduced the Timeline thing, and everyone hated it and no one wanted to install it and eventually Facebook did it anyway? Yeah...was not happy for about a week!)

I'll admit, I'm pretty much addicted to Facebook. Actually, here's a better term--I am a Facebook Whore. I'm on it like constantly throughout the day. If I don't check it at least 3 times an hour, I'm seriously slacking. If I'm in a work meeting and can't look at my phone, my palms literally itch. It's bad. I'm looking into support groups.

Although I do love me some Facebook, there's one thing with the site that really burns my toast; but also has me fascinated at the same time (don't ask). And that is the whole phenomenon of the "Status Update". No, I'm not referring to the marital status, but the actual status where you can write about what you are currently doing, thinking, feeling, eating, whatever. It's basically a live journal of sorts--you can write about anything without a filter or a cut off/word max (like on Twitter). Usually I do find this entertaining and I live for new updates in my NewsFeed. It's neat to see what people are up to or hear different opinions on things. It's also where I get good reads or restaurants to try.

But I do think people take their updates a bit too far.

I don't find it necessary for people to update their status every 5 minutes. I really don't care that you are hungry for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, that you got up to make one, are spreading the jelly lightly--because everyone knows that shit leaks through the bread-- and are now consuming said sandwich and need a long nap. I DON'T CARE! STOP FILLING UP MY NEWSFEED WITH THIS NONSENSE! Like it's not necessary to tell people every single thing you are doing, or thinking because it makes you look like you have no life.

Perfect example:
My cousin and his wife take my Facebook Whore-ing to a whole new level. They post stuff non-stop (at least 4 different posts a day), and even go so far as to have a photo shoot with their weird kids every night and then post the pictures. Like I'm not kidding you, every morning I wake up to a new batch of baby pictures, in the same arm chair, making the same dumb face, but just in a different onesie. Like why? What is the point? They also like to post similar statuses. Like this: "Wifey is making my favorite for dinner tonight! Spaghetti! Yum! Can't wait to see my wonderful family." Her response: "Making my Hubby's favorite tonight! Can't wait to serve him a big bowl of spaghetti and sit down to dinner with our wonderful boys."

GAG!!!!!!

I have since de-friended both of them because my head was about to explode. It's been a pretty peaceful 2 months........until he found me on Instagram. DAMNIT!

All this aside, there is one other issue I have with Status Updates on Facebook. And this has to do with people who are in relationships--whether it be friendships or romantically incline--and decide to air their dirty laundry. In particular, putting someone on blast because they are pissed at the other person.

Here are examples of a few I found on my own Facebook feed:

This is from a guy I went to college with and happens to be one of his tamer posts. About 4 months ago, he wrote a status that was literally paragraphs long about who I can only assume is the same girl he is writing about here. He literally called her every dirty name in the book, and accused her of being a prostitute and using him for money--apparently he gave her over $1000 (out of the kindness of his heart) so she could move into a nicer apartment and repaid him by "fu***** every guy she met" and lying to him about it. He also posted her name at least 4 times in the blast. It was horrific! Naturally he deleted the post after a few hours, so I wasn't able to find it. DAMN!

This is from a friend of a friend, who was talking about her boyfriend. She does this quite a bit--will go on Facebook when she is piss drunk and verbally assault her boyfriend. And this post went a bit further because the boyfriend and a friend of theirs were commenting back and forth about it. Quite entertaining! And this, again, is one of her tamer, not as direct ones. 2 months ago she accused her boyfriend of choking her out and beating her after an argument; saying that she had pictures of the bruises and would post them. Now whether or not this actually happened, I don't know, but her boyfriend is actually a really nice guy and I had a hard time believing it. Naturally this post, and the one pictured here, were miraculously deleted after a few hours.

This one is intense and a long story. My roommate from college's best friend is a bit crazy. She got married super young, had 2 kids back to back and I guess decided she didn't want to be married anymore. Her husband refused to give her a divorce, so the natural thing for her to do was to start cheating on him with each and every guy who crossed her path. Not kidding, she slept with her other best friend's brother then basically stalked him when he stopped calling her. The funny thing about it is that she was constantly posting cryptic statuses--usually sappy country song lyrics about how miserable she was--or posting things like "Stop talking about me! You are all liars and don't know what I do with my life." When in reality every single thing that was being said about her was the truth. About 2 months ago, her husband finally gave her the divorce. Finally free, she decided it'd be cool to crash and total her car (obviously while intoxicated), break her leg while four-wheeling (intoxicated), and get fired from her job because she was caught sleeping in a hospital room  while on shift(sleeping off the intoxication). So I guess she realized the grass wasn't greener on the other side and tried crawling back to her husband. THEN she met a guy and "fell head over heels in love" and started dating him. Thus the above post from her ex-husband. He even linked her name to the post. Naturally, he took it down after a few hours but the damage was done. Won't lie, was pretty glad he finally found his balls and called her out on the bullshit she had been doing to him for close to 3 years, but it was just tasteless all the same.

Now I understand each and every one of these people's pain. They were wronged and the person responsible should burn in hell for it (well not really). But is it really necessary to post it for the world to see? I'll admit, I love gossip and and live for reading these little life dramas, but it seems wrong on so many levels. Relationships are between two people, who mutually agree to respect each other and do whatever is possible to protect the other. Even when things break down, I think that mutual respect and protection should apply. Putting this out there for the world to read is just immature and truly doesn't solve anything. How can something like this help you move on? It only brings more people into the drama with opinions they have no right to have.

Also, if you have the balls to post something like this, don't take it down after 2 hours. It makes you look even more immature and a complete coward. Stick to your convictions dude! Going into these posts you know you are going to get 1 of 2 reactions:

1. confrontation and angry argument with whoever the post is about--of which you will be called childish (which let's face it you are). If pulling the other person into a fight is what you want, then by all means, spew away.
2. the two of you make up and the fighting is over.

The last of which (also the most common) is the soul reason NOT to blast someone on Facebook. You know whatever petty argument you two are having will be cleared up in a few hours, so what's the point of adding fuel to the fire or risking pissing the other person off. AND everything you post, is permanent. You can delete it but other people will always remember this shit after they read it (look at me!). Being an outsider to many of these posts, I personally find it humiliating when I read post like these and two hours later there's a picture of the two of you making kissy faces at each other. Um....weren't you just fighting? Didn't you hate his guts? MAKE UP YOUR MIND PEOPLE!

Here's a thought: how about you keep your bullshit off social media and actually have a physical conversation with the person you are pissed at. You know, like they did in olden times. I guarantee any issue you have can be solved in 10 minutes with a healthy conversation. And if not, and you end up walking separate ways then by all means--lamb-baste their ass and serve them warm.

I'm not saying I'm completely innocent of this. This blog is partly for me to vent out frustrations, but I also stand by my convictions. I will never and have never removed a post because I'm afraid of pissing someone off. Actually, I know for a fact that the subject of one of my posts has read it and wasn't too happy with me as a result. Will I take it down? Nope! He did it, I wrote, now he has to live with it.

I guess what I'm trying to say (and am extremely long-winded with my approach) is that people need to start living their life in the real world and away from the computer/phone screen. It is way too much and people are out of control (me included). Seriously, what has our world come to if this is how people deal with their aggression?