When a relationship ends, it is always a long, unfun process to get back to normal. If you were dating for awhile, you need to get used to not talking to that person every day or calling them when you see a something that you'd both find amusing. Start living on your own again, doing things for yourself, and stop referring to him as your boyfriend. You need to start making other plans on Fridays (aka "Date Night") and start doing more Girl Nights with your best friends. It's the slow process of taking down pictures, throwing away momentos and really just moving on. According to Girl Code, it usually takes half the time you were dating to get over someone.
For example: If you dated for 6 months:
6 / 2 =3
So in essence, it should take you 3 months to get over your ex. Or you have 3 months to mope and cry about him, but after that you need to buck-the-fuck-up. No extra innings, no overtime. GET OVER HIM! Don't get me wrong, break-ups are a bitch and we've all been through them and some people just don't jump back as easily.
For instance, my younger sister was basically living with the guy she was dating for the last 7 months. They did EVERYTHING together--and when I say EVERYTHING I mean EVERYTHING because they also worked together. She only really came home to do laundry or to get more clothes. So when he dumped her in November--because his best friend, who was newly single, wanted his "wing man" back--her entire world fell apart. She had to call out 3 days from work, stopped eating for a week and a half (she lost 15 pounds as a result) and also refused to sleep. It was a ROUGH 2 weeks. And he really screwed her over and was a major dick about everything. BUT her actions following were VERY dramatic and something I've never seen for myself. The only thing that got her through it--which is what I told her from day 1--was to get angry instead of sad. She's still upset about it, but a month from now when her "GET OVER IT" stage is done, she'll be a new woman and hopefully ready to date again.
And that's really what that time is for; to work on yourself until you are ready to put yourself out there again.
And that's kind of where I'm at.
If you follow my blog you know I broke up with my last boyfriend in August. If you weren't aware, it was an incredibly stressful and mind-fuck of a situation because he's an alcoholic. It was a very sticky situation for me--post-breakup--because I still wanted to be there for him to an extent. I wanted to be a friend and at least have lines of communication open if he needed someone's help or someone to talk to. And yes, it was a major crutch for me as well because we were still talking the same amount as before. I fully admit that was a mistake.
But now it's been awhile and I feel like I don't need that crutch or him in my life. So slowly, I've been trying to get back out there and just see what's available. I've also been talking to him a lot less. Recently, I started seeing someone new and am starting to fall for him hardcore. He's kind of everything that Kevin wasn't/isn't. What we have is so easy and stable, whereas Kevin was a roller coaster of bullshit. So I'm happy. Very happy.
So happy that I swear Kevin senses it and has chosen this time to creep back in. The last week, he has been blowing up my phone with text messages and commenting on everything I post to social media. The texts are all mushy and lovey-dovey in content and it's pretty obvious he misses me.
WHY!!!??
It's like radar; the guy who breaks your heart knows when you have started to move on, and swoops back in to muck everything up.
And it's not just him.
Post-Kevin, I was talking to this guy for a few months who I don't think quite understood the point of dating-- i.e actually putting effort and time in to seeing each other--but had me convinced that that's what we were. So I tried and tried and tried, but he was just so wrapped up in himself and only wanted me around when it was convenient.I had enough. I cut off all communication with him the beginning of November-- deleted his number, blocked him on instagram and snapchat. It was a clean cut and there has been no communication whatsoever. Dead silence from him.
Until this week. When he's been "liking" everything I post to Facebook.
Now I'm not trying to make something out of nothing and I know that's what it looks like. But from my own personal experience, I completely ignore everything an ex posts on Facebook and I would NEVER like or post anything on their page. I don't want that person to have the satisfaction of seeing my name pop up in their updates or think that I was thinking of them. And I think that's true across the board.
So I ask you, is this the real Sixth Sense?
Can exes sense when you are moving on and choose that exact moment to throw your emotions for a loop? Because I sure the hell think they can. I swear exes radiate a "I'm Happy" smell only for each other, and once they get a whiff they're all over you and won't go away.
 |
| "She's happy! I can smell it!" |
That, or they're just horny.
Don't get me wrong, the attention is semi-flattering. And who wouldn't want their ex to come back and say "Hey, I was wrong." In my situation, I just wish they both realized it when they had me. Now it's too late and I'm not going back down that road with either of them.
And ignoring them seems to be the only solution.
That or inventing "I'm Miserable" perfume.
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