"You're An Idiot. He's Using You"

I know we've all heard the saying "Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one." And obviously this is true. No matter the situation or your involvement in it, everyone thinks they are the expert and want to give their opinion in the hopes that you will take it. And NO ONE can say they don't get a slight satisfaction when they are right and their counterpart says as much. It's a personal high for me--I LOVE being right, and being told is even better

But what if the person who confides in you really doesn't want your opinion, even when they ask for it or involve you in their drama? What if they just expect you to be quiet and nod your head in agreement with whatever they say? Can you in good conscious say nothing when you know they are making a HUGE mistake?

Let me explain.

A few months back, I briefly touched on my younger sister's recent breakup. It was a BAD one. She was very wrapped up in the relationship--she was rarely home, they worked together so it turned into her staying at his place every night and they drove in together, she helped him move and decorated his new place, met his parents, gave up Thanksgiving with her family to go to New York to celebrate Hanukkah with his, catered to his every whim, and really mothered him. She thought she was going to marry him and even started planning their life together. Not gonna lie, it was nauseating.

And let me clarify that I was not jealous of her happiness. It was just frustrating for me to watch her get so wrapped up in a guy who seemed like a jerk and completely lose herself inside of the relationship. She changed. Majorly.

So then he dumped her--which I called 3 months prior--because he "wanted to be single, and he didn't love her, and never wanted a girlfriend." It also had a lot to do with his now single roommate who, as soon as he dumped his own girlfriend, suddenly had a problem with my sister being at their apartment all the time and wanted his "wingman" back. Personally, I think he cheated on her during a "guys trip" to AC that occurred 2 days before the breakup, felt guilty, and wanted his freedom back. Needless to say, my sister's world fell apart. And she took it quite hard. Like beyond hard. She had to call out of work 3 days in a row, stopped eating--and subsequently lost 15 pounds in 1 week--stopped sleeping, and was ready to throw in the towel with her Grad School finals happening that week. In every sense of the word, she was suicidal and we were all very worried about her. It was BAD. And there was no shaking her out of it. All she did was cry and say she just wanted to talk to him, or go to sleep and never wake up. Meanwhile, he immediately de-friended all her friends on Facebook and started friending a bunch of 21 year old sluts who he probably met out that weekend--really classy.

This lasted for about 2 weeks. 2 weeks of hell that had my entire house on edge. To the point that my father--who is not a violent man in the least bit--wanted to drive out to his house and "put a bullet in his skull." It got even worse when she told my parents that she didn't want to celebrate Christmas--which was the next week. That was enough for my parents to give her a taste of tough love. My dad gave her three choices: To get over it and come back to the world of the living, get the hell out of his house, or he'd go and knock his knees out and end up in jail. And I guess that snapped her out of it and she started getting back to normal.

Almost immediately, she started making plans to move out and get an apartment with her friend in Manayunk. Problem is, which we all pointed out to her, that's where her now ex-boyfriend currently resided. She swore he had nothing to do with her choice, but I don't think I'd chose a small town if I wanted to avoid someone who lived there. Just seems stupid. So within 2 weeks of her making this decision, she moved out. And she seemed incredibly happy and back to her old self. And besides 1 awkward run-in she had managed to avoid the ex and seemed to be moving on with her life.

Or so I thought.

On Friday, I got one of those phone calls from her that start with "I'm going to tell you something but you can't be mad at me." Seriously the most awful way to start a conversation. And I knew what was coming next; they were "talking" again. Apparently she had drunk texted him a month before, which turned into her going to his house the next day for a 6 hour long conversation, where he told her he "got scared" and things were moving too fast and he thought she was expecting a ring from him and he missed her and wanted to try it again. And she, like a dope accepted it. And they had been hanging out irregularly--or every 2 weeks, because she didn't want to see him all the time--and "taking things slow." That she wanted to give him a second chance and she knew if she didn't she'd always regret it.

Now I ask you; How would you react? Would you tell her what she wants to hear and keep your mouth shut about your real feelings?

 

Or tell the truth? No matter the result?

Well....I've made it pretty obvious in this blog that I can't keep my mouth shut and I kind of exploded. Like I was mad! More than that, I was disappointed. She had made my, and my family's, life AWFUL with this breakup and now she was going to take him back? Don't you remember what he did to you? Don't you remember the hysterics you went through? Basically I told her that she was an idiot and he was using her--that obviously he was lonely (which was what he told her when they broke up, as  to why he constantly invited her over and wanted her there) and now that she lived closer, it was more convenient. That he obviously couldn't find anything better and came slinking back because he knew it'd be easy. She'd never be able to bring him home or around us because we all hated him (and I hope he knows that) and she will break my father's heart if he gets wind of this. She had complete blinders on and seemed to forget the past--which she said they were trying "to move on from the past". Like come on!

I basically wrapped up my whole opinion telling her that if I ever saw him out, I'd remove from his body what he cherished most of all. Obviously, this wasn't the response she was expecting and I think she got a little angry at me. But I'm not sure what she thought I was going to say--in what universe would I be happy for her?

The plot thickened the next day when I got a text from my older sister's best friend who joined the Dating App Tinder.

And guess who's profile she found.

*GASP*

Yup! The ex-scumbag. She sent me a screenshot of it and there's no denying it's him.

Now this site is very notorious for "booty-call/hookups" by guys. I've actually been told by quite a few that their friends use this site and "get so much ass". I think its because everything is based off your picture. There are no profiles or matching of any kind, so everything is based off of immediate physical attraction.

I was then faced with another burdening question: Do I tell my sister? Or pretend I never saw this?

I mentioned before how I love being right, right?

I sent her the picture and explained how I got it. She immediately wanted more information, especially concerning the last time he was on the site (which after some snooping we found out was 21 hours previous). And apparently she confronted him about it. I really thought this would be the nail in the coffin--who in their right mind would stay with an ex, who you're already on rocky ground with, once you find their dating site profile? How can you ever trust them!? Or trust their intentions!? I didn't like that I was dashing my sister's hopes of a renewed love-affair with the "love of her life", but I was glad he'd shortly be history.

Well I was wrong.

Her response to me asking what happened after the confrontation was; "I need to trust him more. I'm glad you are protective of me and I love you for it but I have to make this decision on my own."

WHAT?!

The evidence that he's a creep and is using you is staring you in the face, but you are still going to give him the benefit of doubt? Are you delusional? It's obvious he's desperate if he's on dating site to begin with, but he's also using it while you two are "trying to work things out". How could she ever trust him? I literally wanted to drive out to her work, go to her office, and shake the shit out of her. I just can't understand how you can be so dumb.

There's literally no talking any sense into her. She's going to do what she wants regardless of what anyone thinks. I still have hopes that she'll wake-up tomorrow morning, text me and say "You were right." But I'm not holding my breath.

But I am keeping my mouth shut for now on when it comes to him.

And praying, for his sake, that he stays the fuck away from me.

Freakin' Frozen

Apparently I am very "late to the party" with one of the best cinematic experiences of 2013. I had been hearing HUGE buzz about it for months, saw a lot of intriguing previews, and had every intention of seeing it in the theater. But no one would go with me or things would come up. And then I just forgot. Then a few weeks back, I started seeing all these YouTube videos about it and got very curious again. Feigning the whole "seeing it by myself in the theater," I figured I'd wait until it came out on DVD. Luckily, my sister found a website that streamed it (*illegally* sorry guys) and two weeks ago I was able to FINALLY watch it (on my iPhone). And I was blown away.

Literally.

What movie you may ask?

Why Disney's FROZEN of course!

 

Yes, I am a twelve year-old girl. AND DAMN PROUD!

 

It was beyond everything I expected and I quickly became quite obsessed--I downloaded the soundtrack moments after finishing it, learned all the words to the songs and also watched it twice in one weekend.

 

Again, I'm a twelve year-old girl.

 

Now usually I am very impressed with Disney. Their movies make up the majority of my childhood and I'm a Disney expert--for real, try challenging me to Disney Trivia, you will cry like a baby after I THROTTLE you with the amount of useless Disney knowledge I possess. And although I've never been to Disney World itself ( yes *GASP* but I will be remedying this come June when I go for the first time with my sisters), I consider myself one of the biggest Disney fans. But...I'll admit the animated musicals have been laking lately. Pixar movies aside, there hasn't been much offered in the last 20 years or so. I think the last animated Disney movie I saw and actually enjoyed was Beauty and the Beast which was back in the 90s. I just feel like the story-lines, animation and especially the music has been majorly flawed. Nothing stacks up to the likes of The Little Mermaid, Lion King, Or Sleeping Beauty in my book.  I'll admit I didn't actually see The Princess and the Frog, which is more recent Disney animated musical, but I heard good things.

 

Then Tangled happened.

 

 

 

And my belief in Disney was restored.

 

Obviously Tangled was a HUGE success and in many ways it rejuvenated animation for Disney. I guess they figured they had a winning formula again--fairytale princess, huge dilemma, love story, magic, great music--and they decided to invest in future projects.

 

But if I'm going to be honest here, I have to say Frozen went above and beyond. In fact, it trumped its predecessors--which is a HUGE compliment. The story itself was something Disney hasn't delved into before--yes, it was loosely based on Hans Christian Anderson's The Snow Queen (very VERY loosely based) and sticks with a fairy tale theme. But it looks more to the relationship between sisters, than between a princess and her prince. The sisters are not rivals or set against each other, but both give up something in their lives in order to protect the other. The movie builds on the bond between these two sisters and their love is at the core of it.

 

 

 

And as a girl with 3 sisters, I can totally relate.

 

True love or "love at first sight" is also discussed in length, and shot down as impossible. Which, if you've seen any Disney Princess movie you know is a major theme. The princesses meet their prince for a day, an hour even and instantly fall in love. There is no courtship or "getting to know you" stage, they see each other and are married in the next frame. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid--all the major Disney classics follow this formula. And it honestly gives little girls (and boys) unrealistic expectations, which lead to major disappointments and a "ticking clock" later in life. Love does not happen like this, at least not in the real world in 2014. And Frozen tackles this issue. Ana, the younger sister meets a prince at her sister Elsa's coronation and falls in "love". When she asks for her sister's blessing, Elsa says she won't give it because "you can't fall in love in one day." And the theme goes through the entire movie, with Ana trying to convince people she is, in fact, in love and that it is possible. There is a major twist at the end, which I won't give away, but it confirms Elsa's belief. It's truly genius that they basically knock the Disney movies of the past with this notion, and it's such a positive message for young people.

 

Now the music is something else entirely. Usually the music from Disney movie's is of a high caliber and boasts at least one huge number. And when you think of Disney music, most people think of Alan Menken. He did the music for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Tangled--to name a few. And he was slated to also compose the music for Frozen but backed out for some reason. A fresh new team stepped in and kind of breathed a new life into the genre. The songs were funny, witty, age-appropriate, beautiful and timely. Don't get me wrong, I love Alan Menken, but his music always seems to hit the same note or have the same feel. And the music from Frozen was very different in a good way.

 

And don't even get me started on "Let It Go".

 

 

Probably one of the most powerful songs in Disney history. And with the unbelievably talented IDINA MENZEL's (get it straight, JOHN TRAVOLTA) vocal chops, you can't miss.

 

She killed it! And the song was well deserving of the 2013 Oscar. YouTube her performance on Jimmy Fallon if you want to judge for yourself

 

If this blog hasn't convinced you yet, then I will say it in plain terms: GO SEE FROZEN.

 

Seriously, I have not had that much fun with a movie in a long time and it is well worth your time and money!  And if you don't want to spend the money, message me and I'll forward you the free (*illegal*) link I have.

 

Great....now I want to watch it again!

Love it!