The Hills Weren't So Alive...

There are two things in my house that are pretty basic necessities and staples. These two things are Pork Roll--a breakfast meat that is very popular in the tri-state area --and The Sound of Music. Yes, Pork Roll is of itself hugely important and our house always has at least 4 packages of it in the fridge. It also HAS to be Taylor's. But The Sound of Music is almost like a religion to us.

We have it on videocassette, recorded from a television broadcast, on DVD--at least two of them--and the original soundtrack from the 1967 movie. If it's being aired, we all gather together to watch it or stay glued to it if we happen to channel surf our way to an airing. Collectively, we've probably seen it at least 1000 times. And my parents surprised us a few years back and took us to see the touring show when it game through Philly. And we all secretly want to plan a trip to Austria to see all the sites. As my Dad always says "It has everything! Great scenery! Great musical numbers! And Nazi's! You can't beat it!"

Now if The Sound of Music is our religion, then Julie Andrews is our god. Or goddess.

Like down on our knees, exultation and praise honoring her in all her British glory. Her voice is literally comparable to angels, and many tears were shed in my house when we all learned that her vocal chords were irreparably damaged in a botched surgery and she'd never sing again. "I'd sue them for all they were worth," my Dad says, in complete and utter outrage. Our love of Julie also transcends The Sound of Music, as our other love is for Mary Poppins. It's actually my Mom's favorite movie of all time.

Obviously The Sound of Music is beyond a classic in my house, and really in the entire musical theater world. The 1967 movie is something that has never been touched and really should never be recreated--it was perfect in every sense of the word. So needless to say, I was a bit miffed when I heard NBC would be producing a LIVE! telecast of the show in December.

Actually, I was a bit pissed.

What the hell is the point of touching a beloved classic? The original cast can never be recreated, so why even try? A travesty! A complete travesty!

But...I'll admit I was slightly intrigued by who they did assemble for the cast. Namely the leads; Carrie Underwood as Maria and Stephen Moyer (aka Vampire Bill from True Blood) as Captain Von Trapp.

Now it's pretty obvious that Carrie has the vocal chops for the role-- please YouTube "How Great Thou Art" and try not to get chills or cry--but I've never heard she could actually act. She was in that "Soul Surfer" movie a few years ago--and if you haven't seen it, don't feel bad, no one really did--but I didn't hear she was an acting prodigy or anything of the sort. And Vampire Bill obviously has the acting chops, but I don't think he's sang professionally before. But for me, him as a singer was kind of believable.

So on Thursday, December 5th my entire family and I assembled at my sister's house to watch the LIVE! Broadcast. We were all pretty excited. And it started....

And 3 hours later, it was over.

And my verdict?

Well....the scenery was pretty?

I'm sorry, it was just awful. Terrible. No good. Waste of 3 hours for me. So bad, that my best friend and I started texting back and forth during it. Here are a few examples:

 

 

 

 

Here's the thing. Carrie Underwood can't act her way out of a paper bag. Like she was so flat and one-toned. Kind of like she was more concerned about remembering all her lines than putting actual emotion or thought into the words she was saying in her dialogue. She was dead on with her vocals, I'll give her that but she should've kept her mouth shut for the rest of the show.

Stephen Moyer actually did a great job in the acting department but he suffered terribly from pitch problems. He was off key in just about every one of his songs, to the point that I was cringing and squeezing my eyes shut when his songs came up. It just wasn't good.

There were a few redeeming qualities--the Von Trapp children and Audra McDonald as Mother Abbess. The children were well rehearsed and on point at every turn. They obviously were a bunch of Broadway Brats and are used to the LIVE! aspect. And the scenes Carrie shared with them weren't as sufferable--she seemed to lighten up a little with them. And Audra McDonald. Wow. She was beyond great. Her rendition of "Climb Every Mountain" was astounding and I believe she will be nominated for an Emmy for her performance.

Overall, I was disappointed. But to be fair my expectations were pretty low. I may be in the vast minority--because I've heard a lot of people say they loved it--but I'm just not one of them. Sorry.

There's only one Julie Andrews.

And it's not Carrie Underwood.