Phobias

I think it's pretty normal to have a few fears in life. I'm not talking about fears that everyone has--like dying, or amounting to nothing in life. I'm referring to unique fears, fears that are particular to one person. Fears that have been cultivated and grown with time. Things that are truly crippling and can stop you from doing certain things.

For me, I have 3 major fears that have shaped my life in more than one way. And not always for the bad.

The first true fear I can remember--dating way back to when I was a wee Penny--is that of needles. You know, those sharp, pointy weapons of mass destruction they use to inject you with vaccinations at the doctors, when your mom swear there's no shot at this visit then you do have to get one and they swear it won't hurt a bit but in reality they are LYING and still jab you when you are least expecting it?

Yeah, those.

A fear of needles and shots is pretty normal for little kids. No one likes getting shots and being told you have to get one is not always a pleasant thought. But usually kids grow out of it, especially when they do in fact realize that the pain is momentary and by the time you exhale--from the large breath you take before they do it--it's already over. It's really all in your head.

But not for me. And this fear is something I still haven't outgrown. The last two times I've had to have blood drawn, I broke down in complete hysterics and basically had to be restrained. And I'm not kidding on the restrained part--2 rather large African American women had to basically sit on my lap and hold my arms down in order for the nurse to draw a few ounces of blood. I also accidentally/on purpose kicked one of them in the crotch while they were holding me down. Needless to say, I never went back to that doctor again.

On top of shots, I also was unable to get my ears pierced until I was 16 and I nearly fainted in the process. I also do not have any tattoos--which I actually really want one and have gone twice to get said tattoo but left both time without them. I also cringe every time I see a movie or watch TV shows that involve drug use and needles.

I guess my parents would consider my fear of needles a blessing in disguise, but it has definitely embarrassed me quite a bit. But I don't see it changing either--although I have gotten somewhat better as of late with giving blood.

My second fear of all fears is that of snakes.

Just looking at this picture gives me the willies!

Some would consider this a semi-normal fear. A lot of people abhor snakes and run from them at all cost. They're slimy, spooky, the epitomy of evil in a good Christian's view, and they can eat a person whole--have you ever seen the movie Anaconda? Yeah, that shit is no joke!

But my fear of snakes, is a bit more intense I believe. I literally get the shakes and feel faint. And run for the hills if I ever see one. Once, when I was 8 my dad took my sisters and I fishing off the Neshaminy Creek. I happened to catch a water moccasin--one of the most poisonous snakes in the world (in my opinion anyway). The minute I pulled it up with my rod and saw it, I dropped the rod, screamed bloody murder and ran for my dad's car. I wouldn't get out of it for the rest of the day. I also avoid the reptile house at the zoo, but that's a given.

So yeah, I'll never own a snake or date someone with a snake. Sorry fellas.

My last fear is probably the worst. It is my fear of heights.

I don't know what it is, but being up high and seeing the height scares the piss out of me. I start to hyperventilate and my legs start to shake beneath me. Then it gets hard to breath and I just break down in hysterics. It is my most crippling fear because it prevents me from doing quite a bit. I don't go on amusement park rides, I don't rock climb--which is something I funnily enough really want to try--climb high ladders, or go over suspension bridges. The worst one is probably the amusement park rides because it leads to pretty boring trips to Hershey Park or Dorney Park--I basically ride the iron bench the entire day.

But lately this fear has started to interfere with my job as well. We just moved into a new expansion in my building and everything is beautiful and new. One of the major plus's about this move is the storage they've equipped our department with. Which are huge shelves that rise about 10 feet high. In order for us to reach the top two shelves, they've also given us a set of rolling ladders. Kind of like the ones you see at libraries. Or the one below:

Well unfortunately part of my job description is that I have to organize everything for my department, which now involves me having to put all our samples on these shelves. So I have to climb to the top step of this ladder to get things on the top shelf. Obviosuly this is a major problem for me, and I've already had more than one nervous, tremor on the ladder and had to ask a coworker to help me down.

Yeah, it's that bad.

So now my whole department knows of my crippling fear which is a bit embarrassing. But it also puts me in a semi-vulnerable position because I work with a group of people who like to playfully jab at me. Which means I have to fear being thrown around on this ladder as a joke.


Those are my major fears. Feel free to comment on your fears so I don't feel so bad about mine. No seriously if you have a fear of squirrels or tin-foil, please comment below. We can be scaredy-cats together!