"You're An Idiot. He's Using You"

I know we've all heard the saying "Opinions are like assholes; everyone has one." And obviously this is true. No matter the situation or your involvement in it, everyone thinks they are the expert and want to give their opinion in the hopes that you will take it. And NO ONE can say they don't get a slight satisfaction when they are right and their counterpart says as much. It's a personal high for me--I LOVE being right, and being told is even better

But what if the person who confides in you really doesn't want your opinion, even when they ask for it or involve you in their drama? What if they just expect you to be quiet and nod your head in agreement with whatever they say? Can you in good conscious say nothing when you know they are making a HUGE mistake?

Let me explain.

A few months back, I briefly touched on my younger sister's recent breakup. It was a BAD one. She was very wrapped up in the relationship--she was rarely home, they worked together so it turned into her staying at his place every night and they drove in together, she helped him move and decorated his new place, met his parents, gave up Thanksgiving with her family to go to New York to celebrate Hanukkah with his, catered to his every whim, and really mothered him. She thought she was going to marry him and even started planning their life together. Not gonna lie, it was nauseating.

And let me clarify that I was not jealous of her happiness. It was just frustrating for me to watch her get so wrapped up in a guy who seemed like a jerk and completely lose herself inside of the relationship. She changed. Majorly.

So then he dumped her--which I called 3 months prior--because he "wanted to be single, and he didn't love her, and never wanted a girlfriend." It also had a lot to do with his now single roommate who, as soon as he dumped his own girlfriend, suddenly had a problem with my sister being at their apartment all the time and wanted his "wingman" back. Personally, I think he cheated on her during a "guys trip" to AC that occurred 2 days before the breakup, felt guilty, and wanted his freedom back. Needless to say, my sister's world fell apart. And she took it quite hard. Like beyond hard. She had to call out of work 3 days in a row, stopped eating--and subsequently lost 15 pounds in 1 week--stopped sleeping, and was ready to throw in the towel with her Grad School finals happening that week. In every sense of the word, she was suicidal and we were all very worried about her. It was BAD. And there was no shaking her out of it. All she did was cry and say she just wanted to talk to him, or go to sleep and never wake up. Meanwhile, he immediately de-friended all her friends on Facebook and started friending a bunch of 21 year old sluts who he probably met out that weekend--really classy.

This lasted for about 2 weeks. 2 weeks of hell that had my entire house on edge. To the point that my father--who is not a violent man in the least bit--wanted to drive out to his house and "put a bullet in his skull." It got even worse when she told my parents that she didn't want to celebrate Christmas--which was the next week. That was enough for my parents to give her a taste of tough love. My dad gave her three choices: To get over it and come back to the world of the living, get the hell out of his house, or he'd go and knock his knees out and end up in jail. And I guess that snapped her out of it and she started getting back to normal.

Almost immediately, she started making plans to move out and get an apartment with her friend in Manayunk. Problem is, which we all pointed out to her, that's where her now ex-boyfriend currently resided. She swore he had nothing to do with her choice, but I don't think I'd chose a small town if I wanted to avoid someone who lived there. Just seems stupid. So within 2 weeks of her making this decision, she moved out. And she seemed incredibly happy and back to her old self. And besides 1 awkward run-in she had managed to avoid the ex and seemed to be moving on with her life.

Or so I thought.

On Friday, I got one of those phone calls from her that start with "I'm going to tell you something but you can't be mad at me." Seriously the most awful way to start a conversation. And I knew what was coming next; they were "talking" again. Apparently she had drunk texted him a month before, which turned into her going to his house the next day for a 6 hour long conversation, where he told her he "got scared" and things were moving too fast and he thought she was expecting a ring from him and he missed her and wanted to try it again. And she, like a dope accepted it. And they had been hanging out irregularly--or every 2 weeks, because she didn't want to see him all the time--and "taking things slow." That she wanted to give him a second chance and she knew if she didn't she'd always regret it.

Now I ask you; How would you react? Would you tell her what she wants to hear and keep your mouth shut about your real feelings?

 

Or tell the truth? No matter the result?

Well....I've made it pretty obvious in this blog that I can't keep my mouth shut and I kind of exploded. Like I was mad! More than that, I was disappointed. She had made my, and my family's, life AWFUL with this breakup and now she was going to take him back? Don't you remember what he did to you? Don't you remember the hysterics you went through? Basically I told her that she was an idiot and he was using her--that obviously he was lonely (which was what he told her when they broke up, as  to why he constantly invited her over and wanted her there) and now that she lived closer, it was more convenient. That he obviously couldn't find anything better and came slinking back because he knew it'd be easy. She'd never be able to bring him home or around us because we all hated him (and I hope he knows that) and she will break my father's heart if he gets wind of this. She had complete blinders on and seemed to forget the past--which she said they were trying "to move on from the past". Like come on!

I basically wrapped up my whole opinion telling her that if I ever saw him out, I'd remove from his body what he cherished most of all. Obviously, this wasn't the response she was expecting and I think she got a little angry at me. But I'm not sure what she thought I was going to say--in what universe would I be happy for her?

The plot thickened the next day when I got a text from my older sister's best friend who joined the Dating App Tinder.

And guess who's profile she found.

*GASP*

Yup! The ex-scumbag. She sent me a screenshot of it and there's no denying it's him.

Now this site is very notorious for "booty-call/hookups" by guys. I've actually been told by quite a few that their friends use this site and "get so much ass". I think its because everything is based off your picture. There are no profiles or matching of any kind, so everything is based off of immediate physical attraction.

I was then faced with another burdening question: Do I tell my sister? Or pretend I never saw this?

I mentioned before how I love being right, right?

I sent her the picture and explained how I got it. She immediately wanted more information, especially concerning the last time he was on the site (which after some snooping we found out was 21 hours previous). And apparently she confronted him about it. I really thought this would be the nail in the coffin--who in their right mind would stay with an ex, who you're already on rocky ground with, once you find their dating site profile? How can you ever trust them!? Or trust their intentions!? I didn't like that I was dashing my sister's hopes of a renewed love-affair with the "love of her life", but I was glad he'd shortly be history.

Well I was wrong.

Her response to me asking what happened after the confrontation was; "I need to trust him more. I'm glad you are protective of me and I love you for it but I have to make this decision on my own."

WHAT?!

The evidence that he's a creep and is using you is staring you in the face, but you are still going to give him the benefit of doubt? Are you delusional? It's obvious he's desperate if he's on dating site to begin with, but he's also using it while you two are "trying to work things out". How could she ever trust him? I literally wanted to drive out to her work, go to her office, and shake the shit out of her. I just can't understand how you can be so dumb.

There's literally no talking any sense into her. She's going to do what she wants regardless of what anyone thinks. I still have hopes that she'll wake-up tomorrow morning, text me and say "You were right." But I'm not holding my breath.

But I am keeping my mouth shut for now on when it comes to him.

And praying, for his sake, that he stays the fuck away from me.

Freakin' Frozen

Apparently I am very "late to the party" with one of the best cinematic experiences of 2013. I had been hearing HUGE buzz about it for months, saw a lot of intriguing previews, and had every intention of seeing it in the theater. But no one would go with me or things would come up. And then I just forgot. Then a few weeks back, I started seeing all these YouTube videos about it and got very curious again. Feigning the whole "seeing it by myself in the theater," I figured I'd wait until it came out on DVD. Luckily, my sister found a website that streamed it (*illegally* sorry guys) and two weeks ago I was able to FINALLY watch it (on my iPhone). And I was blown away.

Literally.

What movie you may ask?

Why Disney's FROZEN of course!

 

Yes, I am a twelve year-old girl. AND DAMN PROUD!

 

It was beyond everything I expected and I quickly became quite obsessed--I downloaded the soundtrack moments after finishing it, learned all the words to the songs and also watched it twice in one weekend.

 

Again, I'm a twelve year-old girl.

 

Now usually I am very impressed with Disney. Their movies make up the majority of my childhood and I'm a Disney expert--for real, try challenging me to Disney Trivia, you will cry like a baby after I THROTTLE you with the amount of useless Disney knowledge I possess. And although I've never been to Disney World itself ( yes *GASP* but I will be remedying this come June when I go for the first time with my sisters), I consider myself one of the biggest Disney fans. But...I'll admit the animated musicals have been laking lately. Pixar movies aside, there hasn't been much offered in the last 20 years or so. I think the last animated Disney movie I saw and actually enjoyed was Beauty and the Beast which was back in the 90s. I just feel like the story-lines, animation and especially the music has been majorly flawed. Nothing stacks up to the likes of The Little Mermaid, Lion King, Or Sleeping Beauty in my book.  I'll admit I didn't actually see The Princess and the Frog, which is more recent Disney animated musical, but I heard good things.

 

Then Tangled happened.

 

 

 

And my belief in Disney was restored.

 

Obviously Tangled was a HUGE success and in many ways it rejuvenated animation for Disney. I guess they figured they had a winning formula again--fairytale princess, huge dilemma, love story, magic, great music--and they decided to invest in future projects.

 

But if I'm going to be honest here, I have to say Frozen went above and beyond. In fact, it trumped its predecessors--which is a HUGE compliment. The story itself was something Disney hasn't delved into before--yes, it was loosely based on Hans Christian Anderson's The Snow Queen (very VERY loosely based) and sticks with a fairy tale theme. But it looks more to the relationship between sisters, than between a princess and her prince. The sisters are not rivals or set against each other, but both give up something in their lives in order to protect the other. The movie builds on the bond between these two sisters and their love is at the core of it.

 

 

 

And as a girl with 3 sisters, I can totally relate.

 

True love or "love at first sight" is also discussed in length, and shot down as impossible. Which, if you've seen any Disney Princess movie you know is a major theme. The princesses meet their prince for a day, an hour even and instantly fall in love. There is no courtship or "getting to know you" stage, they see each other and are married in the next frame. Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid--all the major Disney classics follow this formula. And it honestly gives little girls (and boys) unrealistic expectations, which lead to major disappointments and a "ticking clock" later in life. Love does not happen like this, at least not in the real world in 2014. And Frozen tackles this issue. Ana, the younger sister meets a prince at her sister Elsa's coronation and falls in "love". When she asks for her sister's blessing, Elsa says she won't give it because "you can't fall in love in one day." And the theme goes through the entire movie, with Ana trying to convince people she is, in fact, in love and that it is possible. There is a major twist at the end, which I won't give away, but it confirms Elsa's belief. It's truly genius that they basically knock the Disney movies of the past with this notion, and it's such a positive message for young people.

 

Now the music is something else entirely. Usually the music from Disney movie's is of a high caliber and boasts at least one huge number. And when you think of Disney music, most people think of Alan Menken. He did the music for The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast and Tangled--to name a few. And he was slated to also compose the music for Frozen but backed out for some reason. A fresh new team stepped in and kind of breathed a new life into the genre. The songs were funny, witty, age-appropriate, beautiful and timely. Don't get me wrong, I love Alan Menken, but his music always seems to hit the same note or have the same feel. And the music from Frozen was very different in a good way.

 

And don't even get me started on "Let It Go".

 

 

Probably one of the most powerful songs in Disney history. And with the unbelievably talented IDINA MENZEL's (get it straight, JOHN TRAVOLTA) vocal chops, you can't miss.

 

She killed it! And the song was well deserving of the 2013 Oscar. YouTube her performance on Jimmy Fallon if you want to judge for yourself

 

If this blog hasn't convinced you yet, then I will say it in plain terms: GO SEE FROZEN.

 

Seriously, I have not had that much fun with a movie in a long time and it is well worth your time and money!  And if you don't want to spend the money, message me and I'll forward you the free (*illegal*) link I have.

 

Great....now I want to watch it again!

Love it!







Driving Through the Past

Have you ever passed a building or an old neighborhood that, with just one look, brings back a thousand tiny emotions? Emotions that haven't hit you in awhile? Just driving by one of these places dredges up memories long forgotten. And you don't need to stop or pullover, it just hits you all at once like a ton of bricks and changes everything you were doing before.

Yeah.

Kind of happened to me Saturday night.

I was driving home from my sister's new apartment in Manayunk. She moved out about a month ago and was having all her friends over for an "apartment-warming" and drink-fest. Normally, I am all about these get-togethers, but I'm doing a cleanse this week and can't drink any alcohol and my sister's friends.....well, I don't really like them. Needless to say, I left early and was feeling a bit sad. I just hate going home alone and walking in to a quiet house. Made me feel even more lonely than I had at my sisters apartment. I was also Mario Kart-ing it the whole way home, trying to avoid massive pot holes that are currently plaguing the Philadelphia area. It's pretty stressful actually to drive like that, praying the whole time you get home alive and with all 4 tires intact. And driving down Roosevelt Blvd at 11:30 at night is basically asking for a blow out.

My nerves couldn't take anymore, so once I got into Mayfair I decided to turn off the Blvd and onto Holme Ave. I figured the streets wouldn't be a perilous and the drive would be a tad more scenic. When I pulled onto the street, I realized I hadn't been that way in quite a while. There was construction for almost a year on an old bridge about a quarter mile down and the entire area was detoured off to a side street. I remembered not knowing about the construction when I needed to get to the cleaners on Holme Ave, and having to drive 15 minutes out of my way to get my final destination. So pissed in fact that I completely avoided this area for over a year. But driving on it then made it feel all shiny and new--like a street I had never driven down before. The dark made it feel ominous and magical, and it was almost completely deserted. Still afraid of pot holes, I drove pretty slow and tried to take in the scenery. Ahead of me was a traffic light, so I slowed to a stop and waiting for the green. I turned my head to the side to stifle a yawn, and when I opened them I saw the street sign to my right that was glowing from the street lamp.

And I realized I was in front of Jay's neighborhood.

It took me back instantly.

To that summer before senior year of college when Kyle invited me to Jay's birthday party. Jay and I went to college together and I actually knew his girlfriend pretty well, so I knew a lot of people there. But Kyle invited me. Kyle, the guy who worked with my best friend in high school. Kyle, who I reconnected with in college when he went to DeSales for a year. Kyle, the guy who I secretly had a crush on, but couldn't say anything because so did my best friend. We had started talking again that summer and he invited me to hang out. It was all kinds of awkward but I went anyway. I talked myself out of leaving every ten minutes, especially when I saw Kyle talking to another group of girls. But I stayed and eventually the night turned. We sat and laughed for hours and talked about the basement house party where we met--the night he handed me my first underage beer and I got drunk off of one. It was strangely normal and comfortable, and time slipped by. The sun actually started to rise and I looked at my watch, seeing it was 5:30 am. I knew I had to leave, so he walked me to my car.

And pulled me in for a kiss.

Everything changed in that moment.

It was what I wanted for years, and it fulfilled every expectation.

It was the start of a whirlwind summer that ended far too soon, and with far too many questions lingering. That, to this day I still don't have the answer to.

And never will, because Kyle was killed in a car accident 3 years ago.

It's hard for me to think about him without getting emotional. There was so much there and so much potential for us. Deep down, I truly believed I would end up with him. Soul mates, whatever you want to label it, it was just intense. And distance is what ended things--I was going back to school and he was staying in Philly. But now he's gone and I'll never know if he felt the same way.

And I guess that's what hurts the most.

The not knowing.

The light turned green again, and I drove the rest of the way home. Tears streaming down my face, and a re-opened hole in my heart.

Spring-aling

If you are living on the East Coast, I'm fairly certain you know how I'm feeling at the moment. Cold, rundown, and overtly angry at Mother Nature for dumping the Winter of 2014 on us. Mother Nature you are a real bitch! I quite literally haven't worked a full week since December, am now obsessed with checking weather reports, and am going stir crazy from being inactive. I am BEYOND sick of winter and all its snow and crappy weather.

Now it seems we are due for a Nor'easter on Thursday (2/13), which reportedly will dump over a foot of snow in the Philadelphia area?

Really? Really? Seriously, just go away snow!!

I'm not going to go on and on with this, as it'll be a very boring post. But I thought I'd make a pleasant little list of all the things I am looking forward to once Spring graces us with her presence. Maybe this will help me feel better and make the snow freeze a little faster? Probably not, but here we go.

1. Driving with my windows open
          This may seem simple, but there is nothing better than a long drive with the windows down and the wind blowing through your hair. And Spring air is simply the best.

2. No coats
          Girls will understand this. It is a freaking BITCH to coordinate cute outfits with appropriate outer attire. The cutest outfits just don't look good with a big, burly but warm coat. Plus, logging that shit around after you take it off is an even bigger bitch.

3. No more Pot Holes
         This year has been significantly worse with pot holes, especially near my work. I literally have to drive pressed up against the wheel, full alert and looking for them. Because we all know that just one, huge pot hole will destroy your tires. And that's all I need right now.

4. Flowers all abloom
         Spring is undeniably my favorite season just for the foliage. I live and die for watching landscapes open up with colors and pretty fragrances. I can't wait to have a beautiful arrangement of fresh picked flowers in my room--which I know I can do now, with flowers from the grocery store, but it just isn't the same.

5. Outdoor activities
          Probably the worst part about winter is being home bound for the majority of it. At times in the last 2 months it has literally been hazardous to leave your house and drive anywhere. Spring is all about the thaw out and the first thing I like to do is go on adventures to new places. Walk around in downtown Philly, take long drives to places you've never been, try new things. Literally cannot wait to travel and experience new things.

6. Baseball
        Baseball is my favorite sport to watch and even though the Phightin' Phils aren't the best, I can't wait to see my red and white boys take the field. And there's nothing better than watching a game from Citizen's Bank Field.

7. Back porch beers
       My dad needs very little excuse to "open up the backyard for the season." As soon as it is warm enough to do so, he sets up the lawn chairs, installs the twinkling lights that border our fence, and pops open our bar umbrella. Beers on our back patio are a constant fixture on Friday nights. And I am very much looking forward to it.

8. Longer Sunlit Days
       Driving home in semi-darkness is never fun. So I can't wait for Daylight Savings Time to start. It usually means the coming of warmer weather and eventually, summer days.

9. Spring Rains
      I know it sounds funny, especially with all the weather we are having that involves precipitation, but I love Spring Rains. The smell of it. The feel of it. I love going for runs right before a cloud burst, just on the off chance that I may get caught in a downpour. Nothing better.

10. Dresses
     My closest is bursting with cute spring dresses. I literally have no more room, but I recently bought 3 more just anticipating the warmer weather. I love the feeling of a dress, and there is nothing more feminine. It's also the easiest thing to wear, especially to work. I keep hoping the weather will get slightly warmer so I can wear at least one sometime soon. But I guess I'll have to wait...


This list is already making me feel slightly better.

But at the same time, it is making me more pissed at the coming forecast. I seriously, seriously HOPE this is the last of the winter blast for 2014. I can't handle another snow day of boredom. I WANT SUNSHINE AND WARMTH!

When I Realized I Am Old

He said, "See those lights? That's where we gotta go."

I looked ahead and "those lights" seemed like they were miles away.  Especially in the bitter cold, with 6 inches of snow on the ground. People were calling it the "Polar Vortex" which being outside for more than 5 minutes made me see why. The wind was whipping at my face, and the cold creeped up my toes and into my legs. And there wasn't a nice warm car at the end of this journey.

Just more cold.

I thought it was a great idea at first. Going to Core Creek Park and sledding at night. He told me to wear my "snow gear" and come on over. But the last time I had proper snow gear, I had braces. and a really bad haircut. Two layers of sweatpants and UGGs seemed to suffice. All I had to do was stay warm, and I was already sweating just standing in my toasty, warm house.  It didn't cross my mind that staying dry was a bit more important than being warm. Within 3 steps into the tundra in front of me, my pants were soaked and I was freezing.

But I couldn't say that.

I had to man up and keep going, no matter how bad my teeth were chattering or that each step ached my soaked feet. I shouldered my sled and kept walking. Talking helped and he had a lot to say about the park and childhood snow adventures. We pointed to the surrounding houses--all lit up in the grandeur and warmth--and picked one we'd buy if we ever had the money.

"Nah, that ones ceiling is too high. It'd be hard to clean the spiderwebs at the top," I said pointing to his choice with huge 10-foot ceilings.

"No one will be able to see them," he laughed.

"I'd know they're there!"

 Secretly, I wondered if the owners would let us in to warm up and offer us a warm refreshment if we knocked on the door. We just kept walking.

Then a fence erected out of nowhere, blocking access to our final destination. It was too high to climb and couldn't be crawled under. We followed it around, seeing no clear way.  It seemed we were stuck with nowhere to turn but around--and don't think for an instant it didn't make me slightly happy.

"Let's just cross here," he said, pointing to where the fence stopped and huge rocks covered a good 20 yards. The rocks wouldn't have been bad either, if they hadn't been covered in snow, hiding most of the crevasses and gaps between them. He went first, falling every few seconds between a gap and I followed. I told him to put his hands out in front of him, to protect  his face in case he really fell. Which he did, twice. Finally we crossed the stony meadow and reached our hill.

A steep drop into a valley that led into a creek.

I nervously laughed as he set up our sleds and frantically tried to think of excuses to not go--saying none of them out loud of course. He went first, making a sort of path in the pristine and untouched snow. His sled soared down the hill, over 2 slight humps and stopped only inches before the creek. He rolled off and called up for me to follow down.

"Oh Jesus," I thought as I sat down on my saucer and inched myself closer to the edge. I crossed myself and kicked off. The sled slid down the path like it was on rails. I screamed like a little girl as snow dust sprayed my face and blinded me. The sled started to turn and before I could stop it, I was going down the hill backwards. My stomach flipped and I held onto the sled for dear life. I instinctively planted my feet into the ground and stopped myself when I could feel the sled slowing down--having to walk back drenched from creek water seemed like the kind of death I would not appreciate. Luckily I stopped, and let my body fall back into the snow to catch my breath.

"A rush right," he asked with a big, toothy grin.

"Definitely a rush," I said.

"Ready to go again," he asked.

I looked up at him, and then at the steep hill we just came down and would need to climb back up. I gave an exhausted smile but nodded, remembering when I was 5 and this was fun.

But I think even then, climbing up the hill at the end of a sled ride sucked.

It just sucks more when you're 27.

The Smell of "Moving On"

I know I'm not the only person who feels this way, so I need to vent a bit about my relationship status. I know, I know. I bitch about this quite a bit, but I do believe my dating woes turn into some pretty funny and informative posts.

When a relationship ends, it is always a long, unfun process to get back to normal. If you were dating for awhile, you need to get used to not talking to that person every day or calling them when you see a something that you'd both find amusing. Start living on your own again, doing things for yourself, and stop referring to him as your boyfriend. You need to start making other plans on Fridays (aka "Date Night") and start doing more Girl Nights with your best friends. It's the slow process of taking down pictures, throwing away momentos and really just moving on. According to Girl Code, it usually takes half the time you were dating to get over someone.

For example: If you dated for 6 months:

6 / 2 =3

So in essence, it should take you 3 months to get over your ex. Or you have 3 months to mope and cry about him, but after that you need to buck-the-fuck-up. No extra innings, no overtime. GET OVER HIM! Don't get me wrong, break-ups are a bitch and we've all been through them and some people just don't jump back as easily.

For instance, my younger sister was basically living with the guy she was dating for the last 7 months. They did EVERYTHING together--and when I say EVERYTHING I mean EVERYTHING because they also worked together. She only really came home to do laundry or to get more clothes. So when he dumped her in November--because his best friend, who was newly single, wanted his "wing man" back--her entire world fell apart. She had to call out 3 days from work, stopped eating for a week and a half (she lost 15 pounds as a result) and also refused to sleep. It was a ROUGH 2 weeks. And he really screwed her over and was a major dick about everything. BUT her actions following were VERY dramatic and something I've never seen for myself. The only thing that got her through it--which is what I told her from day 1--was to get angry instead of sad. She's still upset about it, but a month from now when her "GET OVER IT" stage is done, she'll be a new woman and hopefully ready to date again.

And that's really what that time is for; to work on yourself until you are ready to put yourself out there again.

And that's kind of where I'm at.


If you follow my blog you know I broke up with my last boyfriend in August. If you weren't aware, it was an incredibly stressful and mind-fuck of a situation because he's an alcoholic. It was a very sticky situation for me--post-breakup--because I still wanted to be there for him to an extent. I wanted to be a friend and at least have lines of communication open if he needed someone's help or someone to talk to. And yes, it was a major crutch for me as well because we were still talking the same amount as before. I fully admit that was a mistake.

But now it's been awhile and I feel like I don't need that crutch or him in my life. So slowly, I've been trying to get back out there and just see what's available. I've also been talking to him a lot less. Recently, I started seeing someone new and am starting to fall for him hardcore. He's kind of everything that Kevin wasn't/isn't. What we have is so easy and stable, whereas Kevin was a roller coaster of bullshit. So I'm happy. Very happy.

So happy that I swear Kevin senses it and has chosen this time to creep back in. The last week, he has been blowing up my phone with text messages and commenting on everything I post to social media. The texts are all mushy and lovey-dovey in content and it's pretty obvious he misses me.

WHY!!!??

It's like radar; the guy who breaks your heart knows when you have started to move on, and swoops back in to muck everything up.

And it's not just him.

Post-Kevin, I was talking to this guy for a few months who I don't think quite understood the point of dating-- i.e actually putting effort and time in to seeing each other--but had me convinced that that's what we were. So I tried and tried and tried, but he was just so wrapped up in himself and only wanted me around when it was convenient.I had enough. I cut off all communication with him the beginning of November-- deleted his number, blocked him on instagram and snapchat. It was a clean cut and there has been no communication whatsoever. Dead silence from him.

Until this week. When he's been "liking" everything I post to Facebook.

Now I'm not trying to make something out of nothing and I know that's what it looks like. But from my own personal experience, I completely ignore everything an ex posts on Facebook and I would NEVER like or post anything on their page. I don't want that person to have the satisfaction of seeing my name pop up in their updates or think that I was thinking of them. And I think that's true across the board.

So I ask you, is this the real Sixth Sense?

Can exes sense when you are moving on and choose that exact moment to throw your emotions for a loop? Because I sure the hell think they can. I swear exes radiate a "I'm Happy" smell only for each other, and once they get a whiff they're all over you and won't go away.

"She's happy! I can smell it!"

That, or they're just horny.

Don't get me wrong, the attention is semi-flattering. And who wouldn't want their ex to come back and say "Hey, I was wrong." In my situation, I just wish they both realized it when they had me. Now it's too late and I'm not going back down that road with either of them.

And ignoring them seems to be the only solution.

That or inventing "I'm Miserable" perfume.

The Best of....

I feel like the word BEST is a very ambiguous term.

Dictionary.com had the following definitions of the aforementioned word:

1. of the highest quality, excellence, or standing
2. most advantageous, suitable, or desirable
3. largest; most
4. the highest quality to be found in a given activity or category of things

Pretty straight forward I think. Basically someone who can be ranked as #1 among their peers.

But where the ambiguity for me is how can someone truly be the best? Like first of all, who has the authority to rank anyone or hold a position that gives them the right to deem someone "the best"? Secondly, what if there's someone else out there who is better, but simply didn't throw their hat in the ring? So, I guess what I'm trying to get to is the word BEST is very linear and all based on perception. Really the word BEST is an opinion, not really set in stone.

Well.....I was totally under that mindset until this went to print today:

I got a call about 2 weeks ago from my publisher informing me that my book had been named to Kirkus Reviews Best of 2013 Indie List! I literally screamed out loud when I got the news, but was told to keep it quiet until the magazine went to print and the website was updated on 12/16. Can I tell you how hard it was keeping this quiet? Ok, sure...I may have told a few people (like the important people--my family and really close friends) but the vast majority were informed today via social media.

So....the word BEST. Maybe not so bad?
;)

For a full listing; here's a Link!

I'm super excited about this honor and am really hoping it leads to bigger and better things for me and my writing!