Christmas Recollections

In my family, we have our own set of traditions when it comes to the holidays. For example--Christmas Eve is our only extended family holiday time. We are out almost all day visiting relatives, drinking eggnog, giving and receiving gifts, and generally making jolly with our relatives. I kid you not, from noon until well after midnight we are out at different parties. We try and fit it in all in one day, because in the last ten years or so, we instituted our "Family Sloth Day" on Christmas day. We get up when we want--which in recent years involves my parents dragging us out of bed around ten; a funny role reversal-- unwrap gifts at a leisurely pace--we usually take turns unwrapping what Santa brought us, so we can all see each other's gifts--eat a glorious breakfast, and then lay around in our pajamas all day watching movies until its time to make our Christmas day feast--lobster tails, filet mignon and all the trimmings. It is seriously the best day of the year, because we actually take the day to bond with eachother instead of stressing about running around and having to be somewhere.



I've actually been tempted to buy these for my family just for Christmas day

After all the gifts are unwrapped, we also enjoy sitting around recalling past Christmases. This year was a little different as this was the first Christmas my brother-in-law participated in "Family Sloth Day." Obviously no stories were left on the shelf, so I thought I'd share one of my families favorite Christmas memories.

When we were younger, my parents were pretty strict about going to Mass on Sundays and holidays. "If we are paying thousands of dollars in Catholic School Tuition every year, you're sitting in those pews every Sunday," my Mom used to say. Christmas Mass was the ultimate sign of dedication and faith in our community. We were up, dressed in our Christmas finest and on our way to Mass after barely catching a glimpse at what Santa brought us that year. Needless to say, we all hated it. And resented the fact that we were drug away from our toys when the fun had only just begun. Sitting through an hour (sometimes two, depending on the priest that morning) mass was pure torture and we were always itching to get out and home.

As we got older and a little more daring, my sisters and I would sneak one of our new toys into Mass with us, to help eleviate the boredom. Usually it was something small--something that was easily hidden in a pocket or in your hand. I actually became quite the expert at hiding books under my coat and sticking them in hymnals once we were seated in church. To the outsider, I must've looked like a very devoted Catholic reading up on her hymns during mass, when in reality I was discovering that Harry Potter was actually a wizard and would be going to a wizarding school called Hogwarts.

One year in particular, my youngest sister took this it to a whole new level, and instituted a new "shake down" of toys before we left the house for Christmas Mass.

About 15 years ago (which makes me feel unbelievably old when I write it out) there was this British import, kid TV show called Bananas in Pajamas. It involved giant--not even kidding you, life-sized--bananas, in yes white and blue striped pajamas and the crazy hijunx that they got in to every day.

Shocks me that crap like this used to entertain kids!

I was 12 years old when this little show shot to fame, so I obviously didn't watch it. But my youngest sister, who was 7, was obsessed. She watched the show every morning before she went to school and even started eating bananas. These dancing human-fruit even had their own theme song;



Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs,

Bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs,

Bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

'cause on Tuesdays they all try to catch them unawares

boom boom pow boom boom pow

*And yes, I did have to look this up!*

This show was on constant loop at our house, to the point that my Dad started singing it at all hours. In fact, to this day my Dad uses this song as our wake-up call.

Obviously that year for Christmas, dolls from this show were the hot item. And when my sister saw that they had 2 foot, plush dolls that sang the theme song when you hugged them, it was at the top of her letters to Santa. It was really the only thing that she wanted that year. She begged and pleaded, sat on Santa's lap numerous times and made sure she was extra good all year round.

Sure enough, Santa brought her the set.



These things were huge!

My sister was overjoyed and literally hugged these dolls so hard that we thought she was going to wear out the batteries.

But as good God-fearing Catholics, the fun was short lived and we had to get to 10:30 mass--which at our church is usually the most popular mass to go to and it's always packed and standing room only. I remember my mom went crazy that morning trying to get us ready and out the door by 9:45. She was determined to get seats that year, as standing for 1+ hours is not fun. Somehow, we were all in the car and made it to mass at the precise time she wanted us to be. We even got our own pew right in the middle of church.

About an hour later, we were well into Christmas day mass-- which is filled with a lot of pomp, circumstance and carols. I'll admit, it's actually one of the only times I enjoy going to mass as an adult. Everything is so pretty and the mass itself is beautiful. But when you're 12 and your mother had just confiscated your new book, it was awful.

After standing for what seemed like forever, the priest told us to "Be Seated" as he began his homily. In unison, everyone in church pushed up the kneelers, and sat down on the ancient wooden pews. The priest had barely gotten 3 sentences out, when my sister decided to sit back into the pew and a sound started emulating from where she was sitting. Soft at first, but got louder and louder as the priest took breaths in his speech, a song started to play with the audible words;

"Bananas in Pajamas are coming down the stairs

Bananas in Pajamas are coming down in pairs....."

The song that my family knew by heart. The song that we had all just heard only an hour before. The song that was coming from our pew. Or more precisely, from beneath the back of my sister's winter coat that she still happened to be wearing.

In the chaos of getting 4 kids fed, dressed and out the door on time my mother neglected to take a good look at all her kids. My youngest sister cleverly hid her new, 2 foot toy beneath her coat. And by clever I mean she put on her coat and shoved the stuffed animal beneath and behind her back while my mom wasn't looking. No one seemed to notice the hump on her back or the two little sneakers hanging from the bottom of her coat as we walked in to church. And she almost got away with it, until she forgot it was there and sat back too hard in the pew.

The second the song played, my mother's eyes bugged out of her head and her face went ghost white. She instantly looked over to my sister, who was acting like she didn't hear it but continued to lean against it. By the time the song played a second time, the entire congregation was either looking at us or straining their necks to see where it was coming from. The priest even stopped his homily, looked up and said, "Am I the only one who hears that?"

My mom was mortified and started hitting my dad to get the toy off my sister. He was in a fit of hysterical laughter and could barely keep himself quiet, let alone grab my sister. The tears were literally rolling down his face, which only made all of us laugh and my mom didn't find it funny in the least. Then my Dad started struggling with my sister's coat but could not get her arms out of it, since the coat was pretty snug with the added "person" in the back of it. Once the homily was over and the congregation stood up, my mom grabbed my sister's hand and marched us all out the door. Naturally, the rest of us followed laughing even harder.

That Christmas will forever live in infamy with my family. It was the last Christmas my mom rushed us out the door Christmas morning without checking and de-toying us before we left the house. We also started going to the Christmas Eve Vigil instead--I'm not sure if it was to avoid noisy toys, or prevent any further issues on Christmas day. It also was the last year any of us recieved a toy that sang a song when you hugged it. We all still laugh hysterically when we recall this Christmas; my mom even joins in now that the sting of  public moritification has worn off. I actually asked my sister this year why she did it; her answer was simple, "I just loved my Bananas in Pajamas."

Hope you all had a great Holiday and a safe New Year!

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